Toushae

Month: March, 2014

22 awesome things that happened to me this year!

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Is today really my last day as 22-years-old? How? I feel like I just turned 21 and now I have to face 23?! What is this madness?

Each year, I always like to spend my birthdays reflecting on the past year of my life. Sure, this is what most people use the new year for, but I’ve always felt birthdays  are a much more personal way to recap where you’ve been and focus on where you’re going. And so, what better way to recap my year than to share 22 awesome things that happened to me this year.

 

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1. Luke Bryan. Enough said.

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2. I won Outstanding Public Relations Senior.

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3. I graduated from college… say what?

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4. I moved to Ann Arbor, MI to move-in with my boyfriend of five (almost six) years.

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5. I celebrated the fourth of July by riding my first horse!

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6. Became a wish granter and met my first wish kid Lauren. Meeting Lauren was by far the best thing that happened to me this year.

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7. I supported 900 cyclists as they pedaled 300 miles across the state of Michigan all for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

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8. Stood on the finish line of the Michigan International Speedway.

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9. I donated my hair!

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10 .I got my first full-time post grad job at the University of Michigan Health System!

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11. I visited Sand Bear Dunes and met Lake Michigan.

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12. I started dancing.

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13. Helped put on my first event for work.

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14. I learned how to cook!

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15. Got to wear an Olympic Medal. No big deal.

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16. Bought a car with Jaron!

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17. Got my first live Christmas tree

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18. Hung out at the Winter Classic.

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19. Watched Michigan get blasted by record snow fall. (it’s awesome now that it’s over)

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20. Made it to a new city. I love you, Chicago!

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21. Helped my brother turn 21.

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22. And I got one of the best surprises EVER!

Another full of amazing blessings. I can’t wait to see what 23 brings. XO

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What the Movie Frozen Taught Me

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Frozen has become my all time favorite Disney movie this winter. Sure, I love the Elsa, Ana, and Olaf… but what really has me hooked is how much I was able to connect with the storyline.

Okay so no, I am not Elsa and even though it would be cool… I can’t build magical ice castles with the point of my finger (sorry for the let down). But, like Elsa, I do have a flaw I’ve tried to hide. It’s no secret that I am a super high strung person. If you’ve been around me for more than five minutes, you probably picked up on that much. But what a lot of people don’t know is that for over two years, I’ve been taking anxiety medication to try and control it. I had to take it and I don’t regret it. God knows I definitely needed it at the time I started taking it.

But, recently I got to the point recently where I didn’t want to take them anymore. I started going off my medication in December and I can’t adequately share what an insanely difficult battle this has been against my own mental army. It’s been so much harder than I was actually prepared for. I think I’ve felt every emotion possible the last three months, but mostly recharged. Being on medication was okay for me for a while, but the last year, I felt like I was only giving 75%. It began to mask my ambitions with contentment. And thus, I decided to go off my medication.

For a while, I whole-heartedly suffered with trying to find my “normal” again. I couldn’t remember what that looked like for me. I know it sounds odd, but after a couple of years of medication, I kinda forgot how I felt before then. I spent so much time trying to separate what’s withdrawal side effects and what’s my natural personality. After a couple of months, this has gotten a little easier but it’s still a struggle. Yet, this entire process, no matter how difficult it has been, is something I wouldn’t turn back on for a couple of reasons..

One is that if I never went on medicine, I’m not sure I would recognize my anxiety the way I do now. Before, I was so used to it. I couldn’t tell you when I was overreacting to small, unjust circumstances. But now, I can notice the waves of anxiety forming in the distance. I see them coming and can plant my feet firm in the sand and control whether or not I’m capsized.

And last but not least, I am so much more accepting of my anxiety now. I understand that it is who I am as a person and I am even thankful it. I realize that I don’t need to hide it or even try and change. And I personally want to thank Elsa for teaching me that I can “Let It Go”.

And that’s exactly what I’m doing.. I’m letting it go.

The fears that once controlled me, can’t get to me at all. It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I’m free. Let the storm rage on. Here I stand and here I’ll stay. The perfect girl is gone.

This week I challenge you to think about what’s holding you back and let it go… just like Elsa.

Have a blessed week.

XO,

Shae

Our backup plan is God’s original plan

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2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
James 1:2-8

Sometimes we lose sight of our dreams, ya know? We forget God is in control, get a bad attitude, or just plain get down on ourselves.

As I have continued to chase my dreams and try and understand God’s plan, I’ve easily forgotten how much my past and losing Myles to cancer has continued to propel me forward. I always get these sweet messages from people who tell me I have inspired them to chase their own dreams. Those are my favorite messages to get.

Recently, I got this one:

“I wanted to tell you that the things you’ve written about Myles are honestly heart warming and mean a lot to me.. He’s my cousin and I always spent every other weekend at my grandma’s with him. He always talked about you! Every time after church he’d say something sweet about you too.”

My heart stopped a little. It was like a message sent straight from Heaven. It was something I never knew about Myles and it just gave me these positive vibes and memories to help me keep pushing forward for him. It was almost like a reminder that he’s still sitting there with God watching and cheering me on.

I know her message was little, but it was what I needed to see that God is still in control. And even more so, it brought me back to my past, to where it all started, and reminded me of my original life motto..”Live life for the ones who don’t get the chance.”

Don’t ever forget..our backup plan is God’s original plan.

-Shae