Toushae

Month: August, 2012

Dancin’ in the Streets: Remaining True to You & God

You come to a realization about yourself or maybe life, or even love. You suddenly get charged by your own enthrallment. A wave of positive energy pulses through your blood. Rapidly, you feel as though your own confidence could penetrate through any barrier. You’re high on exhilaration.

A few days pass and you catch yourself cuss under your breath at something out of frustration. You realize that positive energy is gone. A barrier stood in your way and you let yourself down again, which you swore you wouldn’t let happen. You question why you even get your hopes up and are torn between who you are and what you strive to be.

As I left Phoenix, I was on a high. My confidence and happiness were untouchable… until reality got its hands on me.

Coming home, I only saw sunny skies ahead. I failed to consider the challenges I would endure this coming year.

A few negative snarls from old ‘friends’ and hate mail and my confidence began dissolving into the mystic of wickedness that consumes the majority of this world.

I couldn’t believe how easily I began to cave. What happened to my excitement? My high on life attitude? Is that really all it took for me to regress?

Out of fear, confusion and frustration I considered the past few weeks. I was struggling to stay afloat on my deflating raft of hope. I was beginning to drown in uncertainty and temptation. I felt weak.

I compared this year to the previous. The two years were cohesive in the fact that I was trying to fight off foulness and temptation on my own. I was attempting to rein against the world without God.

I thought I, myself, could maintain the person I found in Phoenix. When in all reality, I need to maintain this person I have become with God.

There are three reasons for this. One being that I need to confide in God so that he might help me remain happy with who I am as a person and ultimately maintain my confidence through forgiving the people trying to drag me down.

Secondly, I will never be a perfect person. However, if I want to fight off the world, there is no way I can do it alone. I will fail time and time again, as I have done so previously. I need to work with Him. Being happy and a good person takes work and so does being myself.

Finally, most importantly, I need to uphold myself as a person through him so that he can continue molding me into a child after his own heart.

This realization came to me mid-week last week. I have implemented it into my life and found myself coming back out of my shell and continuing to learn who I am as a person.

Additionally, God reassured me this past Sunday I was headed in the right direction. It was hard to sit at home when my friends went out this weekend. I almost caved a couple of times. Then, I went to church and the praise and worship and my dad’s message focused on knowing right from wrong. God patted me on the back Sunday morning and let me know I’m headed in the right direction

This past weekend was one of the best I’ve had in a long while at home and I didn’t do much besides spend time with friends and family.

I guess what I want y’all to know is to keep working on the person you want to be with God. You can’t go at it alone.

You may even find yourself being huge loser who entertains her baby cousins with dance parties in the streets holler’s of West Virginia on Sunday afternoons. But hey, what does that matter for?

In all seriousness, stay strong in your Faith and allow God to work on you as a person.

Never let the fear of what people think stop you from being who you are.

Love,

Shae

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Let Go; Let God

Today I got to spend a short amount of time at one of my favorite spots in Morgantown. Typically I head over here to blow off some steam. Today, however, I sat here and thought about the next year of my life.

This next year is so uncertain. Typically, uncertainty and not having a plan scares me. Yet, as I looked over Morgantown, I realized I never really had a plan. I knew what I wanted to do, where I wanted to direct my energy, time and efforts.. but I never had a plan. I essentially let go and let God.

I teared up this afternoon as I realized how much God guided me the past three years of my college career. He helped me recognize moments of opportunity and seize them, endlessly making a way.

This next year is uncertain, but it is in our uncertainty where faith is often found and strengthened.

I challenge everyone to let go and let God this year.

Wishing everyone their best school year yet!

-Shae

Status Change: In A Relationship

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In life you’ll realize there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

I can remember being five years old and playing “Wedding.” I remember dancing with my very own prince charming to Dixie Chicks in my childhood home’s living room during my “reception” (I apparently had terrible taste in music at age five). Maybe I could blame all the Disney love stories and happy endings, but I don’t. I truthfully believe God made me slightly different. Ever since I was younger, I have been one to love with my whole heart and want the same back. Since age five, I have basically known what I want in a man. Sure, I decided to mark off some things off such as “he must share my love for Rugrats.” But, in all seriousness, as a child of God, I have known the type of love I have wanted to feel.

I have spent a large amount of my time weeding through men and nothing ever lasting. Through the piles, I had found a few good candidates. However, this week I just figured out why none of these relationships worked: a lack of religion or dedication to God.

As I became lonely in the past week, I began to yearn for the company of my ex. I have recently missed him miserably. I feel that is pretty normal after spending nearly four years with a person. However, as I yearned for him, I realized I used him as a crutch.

This realization led me to ponder why I feel I constantly need to be searching for my better half or feel the need to be in a relationship. My answers: I like having someone around and they are quite often my comfort/security when I am scared or anxious.

Next, I began to ponder why I don’t think I have found the person God has in store for me. This is where I began to truly evaluate myself. I put me in front of a mirror and came to a realization that I will hold onto for the rest of my life.

Right now, God should be filling that void that I have often tried to fill with men. And even when I do find someone, God should still be my first go to. I have been trying to put man before God. He should be my crutch and forever my emergeny lifeline.

Further, I evaluated where I have spent my time searching for my soul mate. How can I ever expect God to send me prince charming in a bar scene? This too led me to realize I am spending my time and energy in the wrong places.

As I begin my final college year, I am vowing to avoid alcohol and the party scene. I plan on fully dedicating this semester to my Lord and Savior, the love of my life.

I am in a committed relationship with God and quite frankly, it is the only relationship I really need.

I’ll refer back to my quote in the beginning of this post:

In life you’ll realize there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

For me, the relationships I have engaged in have had a purpose. Some have fully tested me, some have used me and all of them have taught me and ultimately, brought out the best in me.

x

Shae

Make-A-Wish Intern Eval

Shae spent her summer working in a “fast paced” marketing/public relations/communications position where she reported to both the manager of internal and external communications. She was given numerous priorities by us and excelled in all capacities. In addition, she was called upon by others in our department to work on various Make-A-Wish projects (this included work for the Vice President of Brand Advancement as well as the Director of Marketing, Communications & Digital Strategy). She was always attentive to detail, accomplished tasks in a timely fashion, and refused to leave any work unfinished. Shae finished her internship by completing numerous projects related to over 50 kids that we sent to the Olympics from around the world. This included individual bio’s on wish kids, a 100 + page manual that detailed each and every steps of the child’s and their families trip, as well NBC affiliate fact sheets. Often times, due to the direct absence of her supervisors, she needed to take on several initiatives on her own, which she fulfilled in an outstanding manner. She was also called upon to write press releases with regards to our corporate alliance partners, new national board members, as well as internal new hires, all of which she excelled at.

It was a pleasure having Shae here for her internship, and I/we can wholeheartedly recommend her for future positions in other firms and would welcome her back at Make-A-Wish. Please contact us should need additional information with regards to her employment here.

Goodbye Phoenix

I have dreaded today all summer – well until now.

As I was packing up my cluttered desk, tucking away my memories, portfolio and pictures, I realized this opportunity was given to me for a much greater reason than I believed.

Coming into this endeavor, I thought God gave me a chance because He knew how much it meant to me, thought I deserved it and knew I earned it.

The entire summer, I have hated the thoughts of my dreams coming to an end, not knowing if I’ll ever make it back as an employee of the national office of Make-A-Wish. I was complacent with the idea of making a life here since day one and constantly cursed the fact of having another year of college to complete.

I truly believed for a large majority of this summer, in many moments spent with my new friends from around the country, my life can’t get better than this. It was a nightmare thinking that these days, the best days of my life, would be soon behind me.

However, today I realized, these days are not behind me, they are forever with me.

This process, this internship, this entire summer on my own in Phoenix, Arizona helped me find myself. I wouldn’t say I am a new person, but a better person, more who I am supposed to be. I am taking my new perspective of who I am, back to West Virginia.

Of course there are things I will miss: the employees and interns, free blue bunny ice cream, the heat (no seriously I loved it),  the mountains, my cubicle L, the entire brand advancement team, the office, intern lunches, bachelorette Monday’s, the Disney room, 7720 E Heatherbrae, my desert tan, the dust storms, the cacti, endless turquoise jewelry, so much shopping, my two beautiful cousins, evening sunset runs, my intern bestie, sleepovers… the list could go on. All these things are now a part of me; they set the tone for my summer and helped me realize more about myself than I thought was possible.

Coming into this experience I was confused who I was. I lacked self-confidence and never felt fully happy. Today, I am walking away totally opposite.

I have never felt more comfortable with myself as a person, both physically and emotionally. For so long I’ve struggled with thinking I needed a perfect body…a perfect everything for that matter. Then I spent this summer with people who had NO idea who I was. I saw how easily they accepted me.. my little pudgy belly, my anxiety, my love for photographs.. they didn’t care. And at the end of this, I have found that I am completely comfortable with who I am, when I put others judgment aside.

Additionally, I knew coming into this I wanted to help others, but I didn’t look past this internship. Through this experience, I have come to comprehend how much I have inspired others. Weekly messages of thanks poured in from people back home of all ages. It is now I know I am meant to take THIS Shae back to West Virginia. I have unfinished business at home.

I need to go back and get another year as a Mountaineer, another chance to fully have the time of my life. I need to go home and inspire my freshman girls to chase their dreams. I need to work a lot more with my local chapter of Make-A-Wish. I need to pour my entire heart into being an RA. I need another year with my family and friends.

Quite frankly, it isn’t my time to leave WV just yet. I need to prove to myself I can be this Shae back home and anywhere in the world for that matter and that I can defeat my own insecurities.

Tomorrow, I’ll be on my way home. I’ll be able to look down from the airplane upon the desert city that helped me flourish, with a smile instead of tears.

I am so young. I was foolish to think I could ever stop here. There is much more ahead of me, a larger journey God has paved and this was just a path along the way of getting me to where I am meant to end up.

Thank you Make-A-Wish America for taking a chance on me, my parents and family for supporting me both mentally, emotionally and financially, my supervisors and the rest of Make-A-Wish staff for teaching more than any classroom setting could, the interns for setting the tone to an unforgettable summer and God himself, for opening my eyes to much more than I imagined at the beginning of this.

I have realized more and more that this wasn’t just for me.. It was a way for God to strengthen, inspire and motivate the people watching.

This journey was not my own. It was for others. I am a child of God, believer and forever a dreamer.

Define your dreams, set your goals and make them happen.